A Couple of Jokers
by The Mocking J
Summary: Raphael takes Marie to a toy store on Christmas Eve. Shenanigans ensue.


**[[My Rhythm Thief Secret Santa for trashical-girl. They asked for a cute date or dancing between Raphael x Marie. So… These two have a Christmas date at a toy store :D Thanks to sleepybraniac and regu-1 for organising the Secret Santa!**

 **Spoilers: For T _he Emperor's Treasure_.]]**

* * *

 **A Couple of Jokers**

La Cour des Jokers – one of the largest, oldest toy stores in all of Paris. By day, the store was rife with bell chimes, animatronic greetings, toy vehicles whizzing about, video game blasts, barnyard animal noises, baby doll cries, cash register beeps, children's laughter and the sighs of hapless parents. By night, it became a silent maze, rumored to be haunted.

Raphael was relying on those rumors that Christmas Eve. Not that he put much stock in ghost stories. Just over a year ago, he had beaten a guy pretending to be Napoleon Bonaparte back from the grave. There was only one true phantom in this town. Phantom R! He was about to pull off the holiday heist of the century… without actually stealing anything.

If he was honest, he had returned to Paris that day and hadn't found enough time to buy Marie a Christmas present. She was overjoyed when he arrived at her manse, but that joy turned to confusion and doubt when he merely handed her a gift voucher.

"It's a voucher for La Cour des Jokers!" Fondue had picked it up off the street. Raphael wouldn't dare mention that.

"Oh…" She raised her eyebrows at the red court jester grinning at her from the voucher. "Thank you. I'll ask Mama if she wants to visit the store with me."

"Hold that thought – I'm taking you to the store _tonight!"_ He really was making this up as he went along. "You can spend that voucher on whatever you like. How does that sound?"

"I'd much rather just _spend time with_ _you_ ," Marie teased, taking his hand. "If that means sneaking into a toy store, then so be it… as long as we, um, don't leave any damages."

Having worked at Simon's shop, Raphael knew how tough it could be to run a business at this time of year. They would have to be extra careful not to jeopardize the toy store owners or their employees. Raphael switched to his Phantom R facade and flipped his hat. "Phantom's honor – we'll be in and out without a trace. Also, you might want to bring your violin…"

Breaking in (minus any breakages) was much easier said than done. As far as Raphael was aware, there weren't any secret entrances into La Cour des Jokers.

He, Marie and Fondue scaled the storefront and stared in through the glass ceiling windows. The security system wasn't as complex as that of the Louvre, but through the dim light, Raphael still spied a couple of cameras and five guards on patrol. (Law enforcement didn't take a break during Christmas.) He could find a way to temporarily disable the cameras. As for the guards… This was where the 'haunted' rumors came in handy.

He located a ventilation duct on the roof and signaled to Marie. She started playing _Moon Princess_ on her violin. The melody echoed through the vent and across the store, powering up all of the lights and animatronics inside.

Raphael smirked when he heard shrieks from the security guards:

"Mon dieu!"

"The toys… They're _alive!_ "

"S-someone call the Constabulary – "

"No! Call _SOS Fantômes!_ "

"RUN!"

Five guards fled from the store.

"Now's our chance," Raphael hissed. He winced as he tore open the vent. "I'll, uh, reimburse them for that… You go first, Fondue. Bark if it's all clear down there."

Fondue yelped as he slid down the chute. They heard a bump and after a minute, the echo of a bark.

"Look out below, bud!" Raphael followed Fondue down there, narrowly avoiding him when he landed in the vent. He caught Marie when she came down.

Fondue led the way with his nose. Raphael and Marie crawled after him until they reached a grate. They could see the illuminated shop floor beneath them.

It took Raphael a good kick to get the grate open. He poked his head out, hanging upside down, and almost hit a toy helicopter Marie's music had brought to life.

More worrying was the flashing security camera not two feet away from him. He retracted his head into the vent. "Camera, right beneath us."

"Do you know where the Security Room is?" Marie wondered.

"Nope, but I've got another idea." He scanned the shop floor for something that could help them. Action figures, Lego sets, footballs, bikes, trampolines, Nerf guns…

Raphael snickered. "It's Nerf or nothing."

Marie gave him a sideways glance.

"Wait here."

He dropped down from the vent, agile as a cat. A giant Lego man offered him cover from the camera's gaze. He darted past the bikes, behind a trampoline and over to the stack of Nerf guns, grabbing one out on display. (He hadn't used one of these since he was a kid!) He loaded the gun, took aim and fired a foam dart at the camera lens. The dart stuck – _bull's-eye!_

He quickly disabled the other cameras he could find. Then he pushed a trampoline underneath the vent opening and called up to Marie and Fondue. The two of them jumped out and bounced on the trampoline.

"That was fun," Marie gasped.

Raphael gestured to the trampoline. "Would this fit in your garden?"

"Definitely, but we'd never get it out of the store."

"What about a bike?" Raphael picked out a bright blue bike with training wheels and a basket on the front. "You could enter Tour de France!"

Marie breathed, "I've never owned a bike…" She frowned. "Again, we'd have some trouble carrying it out."

"You can still _try it out_. We'll ride around the store!" Raphael insisted. He passed her the bike and a white helmet. He grabbed a red bike for himself, sans training wheels. Fondue hopped into the basket on Marie's bike, sitting next to her violin case.

"Ready?"

Marie nodded determinedly and stared peddling. "Ready!"

"Hey, hold on!"

The sped along the aisles, considering which toys Marie could buy.

Raphael hollered, "Do you like board games?" They had everything, from Monopole to Hungry Hippos.

"There are so many to choose from!"

They passed a band of instruments playing by themselves. (The power of Moon Princess still lingered here.)

"A mini keyboard?"

"It sounds lovely… but we already have a piano in the parlor!"

When they encountered the stuffed animals section, Fondue leapt out of the basket. He picked up a fluffy pink rabbit in his jaws and dropped it at Marie's feet. "Woeuf!"

"I love it!" She lifted the rabbit and patted Fondue's head. "Thank you, Fondue!"

"Sure you don't want something a little less… slobbery?" Raphael laughed as Marie adjusted her grip on the rabbit. "They have some dolls over there – "

"No, this is fine."

She placed the rabbit firmly in the basket. She began wheeling her bike away, not turning back to Raphael or the dolls. Fondue gave Raphael an unhelpful look and plodded after her.

"Was it something I said?" Raphael muttered to the dolls. They watched him with unblinking glass eyes and empty expressions. Shuddering, Raphael caught up to his friends.

"You were right, Marie. Those dolls are way too creepy…"

"It's not that," she whispered as he walked alongside her. She went quiet for a few minutes. Raphael noticed Moon Princess's spell was starting to wear off – the lights flickered above them and the animatronics had fallen silent. Though he had a hunch he knew what was wrong, he didn't want to push Marie. She had never forced him to share his secrets.

They finally came to the checkout lanes. Marie revealed, "Years ago, Jean-François liked to spoil me." She scowled at her violin case. "If I played extraordinarily well, he would buy me toys – dolls, mostly. Bikes and trampolines would be far too dangerous. What if I broke my arm and could no longer play the violin?"

He had treated her like a dainty windup doll who would play for him over and over again.

"I'm sorry," Raphael murmured. Why hadn't he considered this before he brought her to a toy store?

She hugged him. "Don't apologize. Tonight has been… incredible. I never did anything this exciting when I was little."

He tried to think of something smooth, something Phantom R would say, but then she snuggled against his chest and he stammered, "I love you."

"I love you too – "

"Grrrrr! Woeuf!"

"Alright, we're coming," Raphael huffed to Fondue. "We'll leave the voucher here and some Euros for the busted vent."

"Don't forget your Nerf gun," Marie pointed out, placing her voucher and a 50 Euro note above a cash register. "It's your present from me."

"Wo-woeuf!"

Ignoring Fondue's impatient yaps, Raphael cradled his new Nerf Gun and grinned at Marie. "Thanks, Marie… That should be more than enough money to make it up to the store – "

"Do you really think that will cover the cost of your crimes, Phantom?"

Standing at the end of the checkout aisle, wearing a green Christmas sweater under her coat, was Charlie Vergier.

Raphael snapped his fingers at her. "I _knew_ someone was watching us!" (Fondue snorted.)

Marie attempted to appease Charlie. "Shouldn't you be at home spending Christmas with your father?"

"I _was_ … until he received a distress call from the Constabulary." Charlie hummed loudly. "Something about violin music and moving toys at La Cour des Jokers."

Sheepishly, Marie hid her violin case behind her.

"Sorry for ruining your Christmas Eve," Raphael said. If his dad was around, he'd spend every minute with him. "We'll let you get back to your dad – "

"I've waited a whole year for this." Charlie pulled out a soccer ball. "All I want for Christmas is to CAPTURE YOU!"

She recoiled as Raphael shot a round of foam darts at her.

"Run!" Marie cried, grabbing her rabbit and Raphael's hand. They dashed to the entrance doors, only to be met with red and blue police lights and Vergier's booming voice.

"YOU'RE AT THE TOP OF MY LIST, PHANTOM R!" (Where did they come up with these seasonal puns?)

"Back to the vent," Raphael yelped. It was so dark that they missed Charlie as they cheesed it back to the trampoline and bike area.

The three of them scrambled onto the trampoline. Raphael bounced hard, giving Fondue and Marie a boost into the secret opening. Before he could join them, something whipped through the air and wrapped around his legs, almost tripping him off the trampoline.

 _"Really,_ Charlie?" he moaned, struggling to untangle himself from the skipping rope. His struggles increased as Charlie surged towards him. "I thought Christmas was a time for friendship…"

"Phantom R!" Marie shouted from above.

"Woeuf!"

"Get out," he yelled to them.

Charlie's pace slowed to a saunter. "Don't worry. I won't mention Marie was involved. _You're_ the one who masterminded the entire operation, but this is low even for you. Robbing a children's toy store at Christma – _Ow!"_ She had taken a pink rabbit to the face.

"Sorry, Charlie!"

Marie leapt down, helped Raphael free and the pair of them jumped up to the vent.

Charlie tossed the rabbit away and clambered onto the trampoline.

"I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU TWO YET!"

"Crawl," Raphael gasped. Fondue was already waiting at bottom of the chute. Raphael pushed Marie up. He passed Fondue up to her. Then she heaved Raphael onto the roof.

"What now?" Marie panted. The store was surrounded by police cars. "If we make a run for it on foot, Vergier and his officers will catch us – "

"Woeuf!" Fondue was pawing at something triangular left on the roof.

Marie squinted. "Is that a tent?"

"Charlie's hang-glider," Raphael exclaimed. He lifted it up by the handle bar, testing its weight. "It's strong enough to take you, me and Fondue. Come on!"

It felt wrong, stealing from Charlie, but she hadn't left them with much choice right now.

Marie stood in front of Raphael and the handle bar as they waddled to the edge of the roof. Raphael wouldn't let her fall. If anything, they should be more concerned for Fondue. He had to hold on to Raphael's leg!

There were several bangs and Charlie burst out of the ventilation duct.

"My glider!"

"We'll send you a new ooooone!" Raphael yelled as they dived off the roof. They flew right over the astonished officers' heads. Marie heard Vergier roar, but she didn't open her eyes until they were soaring above the cityscape. She released a shaky breath.

"You ok?" Raphael checked, raising his voice over the wind.

"Mmhm!"

"I'm sorry about your rabbit! You can have the Nerf gun if you want!"

Marie shook her head. "Charlie will be more upset about her glider. Are you really going to send her a new one?"

"The newest, best model I can find," Raphael promised. "I'll even get her initials written on the wings."

"I'm sure she'll appreciate tha – WAH!" Her grip had slipped for a minute, but one of Raphael's arms wrapped around her waist.

"I've got you!"

Marie stuttered, "A-are we going to land soon?"

"Hrrrn…" Fondue whined in agreement.

"Sure thing! Where to?"

"Back to my house?"

They swooped over the Sorbonne and descended onto Marie's balcony at the manse. Marie was relieved to be back on solid ground.

She opened the balcony doors. "You have to stay the night. I can't leave you alone at Christmas."

He dropped the glider on the balcony, gaping at the the grandeur of her room. (She had so much _stuff –_ what more could she get for Christmas?)

"I don't want to intrude… I've caused you enough trouble this evening – "

"It's no trouble at all." Marie ushered him into the room, out of Fondue's sights. She added in his ear, "As long as you don't report me to the constables."

They were so close to now…

Phantom R would be prepared with a flirtatious reply. Raphael just about managed to kiss her on the lips.

"Deal," he murmured.


End file.
